sachimom
03-05-2004, 12:15 PM
What Dogs Must Remember
– I will not play tug-of-war with dad’s underwear when he’s on the toilet.
– The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.
– I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I’m lying under the coffee table.
– I will not roll all of my toys behind the fridge.
– I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.
– I will not eat the cat’s food—before or after they eat it.
– I will try to remember to throw up on the hard floor rather than walking toward the carpet as I begin to retch.
– I will not drool or throw up on the car seats.
– I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.
– “Kitty box crunchies” (a.k.a. “Kitty Roca”) are not acceptable snack food.
– I will not eat any more socks and redeposit them in the backyard after processing.
– The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
– I will not wake mommy up by sticking my cold, wet nose up her bottom.
– I will not greet strangers with a nose in the crotch.
– I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think I am hemorrhaging.
– When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it’s raining outside.
– I will not steal my Mom’s underwear and run around the neighborhood with it.
– The sofa is not a face towel.* Neither are mom and dad’s pant legs.
– My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
– I will not scoot across the room when mom and dad have company.
Author Unknown
– I will not play tug-of-war with dad’s underwear when he’s on the toilet.
– The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.
– I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I’m lying under the coffee table.
– I will not roll all of my toys behind the fridge.
– I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.
– I will not eat the cat’s food—before or after they eat it.
– I will try to remember to throw up on the hard floor rather than walking toward the carpet as I begin to retch.
– I will not drool or throw up on the car seats.
– I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.
– “Kitty box crunchies” (a.k.a. “Kitty Roca”) are not acceptable snack food.
– I will not eat any more socks and redeposit them in the backyard after processing.
– The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
– I will not wake mommy up by sticking my cold, wet nose up her bottom.
– I will not greet strangers with a nose in the crotch.
– I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think I am hemorrhaging.
– When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it’s raining outside.
– I will not steal my Mom’s underwear and run around the neighborhood with it.
– The sofa is not a face towel.* Neither are mom and dad’s pant legs.
– My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
– I will not scoot across the room when mom and dad have company.
Author Unknown