Cody has gone to Rainbow Bridge

[dadtocody]

Hello,I havn't been out here in a while.My Cody a black lab who had diabetes and cushings for the last 16 months went to the Rainbow bridge Sunday morning.This is a very big blow to us because we didn't expect him to leave us. He had minor eye surgery on Friday to remove a growth on his eye lid. It started to make an ulser so it had to come off. He made it through the surgery and came home Friday night. He rested comfortably but was having a hard time standing up. Our vet said it could take 2-3 days for the anesthesia to ware off because of his size. He was 95 pds.Saturday morning he was still the same and wouldn't eat. I had to give him his pain pills in some cheese to get them down. A little while later he vomited. The vet called in the afternoon again and said this was normal just keep an eye on him try to see if he would eat and drink. Later that night around 8 he started to mone so we tryed another pain pill and up it came a few minutes later. He was starting to get restless and still could not stand. Our vet gave us her home phone number so at midnight we called her because his sugar was dropping so she met us at the hospital. She said Cody had a fever of 105 and was dehyrading. She had two iv lines going a wet towel and a fan on him while he was lying on a big pillow. His temp.started to go down so at 3:30 am we left. She called us at 9am Sunday and said we better come down he was starting to arest. By the time we got there Cody was gone. His body still warm but he looked very peaceful. She had him on a big pillow with a nice blankett on him. She stayed with him the whole time until he left us. Our Dr.Katie was his angel. I never seen a person care so much for a job and a cilent like she did. She was crying just as hard as we were. If it wasn't for her we wouldn't have never made it through the last 16 months. He went so peaceful and on his own. After being on a tight schedule like we were to be here for Cody we are lost. We have another lab Raider who is nine and we feel so bad for him. He has never been without Cody who was 10. I'm just hoping it doesn't kill him. I feel bad because as much as we love Raider the bond just isn't the same. Raider seems a little more indepenent. Cody always gave kisses. Raider doesn't like you in his face.I just want to know if anyone else felt this way. I guest when a dog gets sick and you have to care so much you develop a special bond. My heart is broken the vet just doesn't know what went wrong. There could have been some under laying problem we didn't know about or an allergic reaction to the anesthia which she has never seen before. She took some blood after he pasted to test because she wants to know what happened. I hope she does it we need some closure. Cody was scheduled for the eye surgery today but it was moved to Friday because of the ulser. We don't know if he would have passed over the weekend or not. We don't have any children so this was one of our babies. This to date is the hardest death I have ever had to go through.
DadtoCody

[mytil]

Oh Cody's dad and family,

We are so very very sorry about you loosing your dear baby :( He sounds like such a cuddly sweetheart. My heart aches for you and your family (including Raider); it is especially hard when this is not expected. Your vet does sound like an angel caring that much. We all fully understand what you are going through; I know that does not help the pain right now. I know Mytilda was completely lost without her brother Clancy (age 13) when he passed. They had never really been apart since birth. Yes Mytilda was much more independent that Clancy, but I think I looked at it that instead of the bond being tighter with one than the other, it is just different between the two.

And also Raider will feel grief too-loosing his best buddy; he will need you more than ever.

Now Cody is free from pain and playing his favorite games with all of our furbabies waiting for us at the Bridge. AND believe me, he is keeping an eye on ya'll.

We would love to hear more about your dear Cody when you are ready. His memory will be here forever.

All of our thoughts, prayers and tons of cyberhugs to you, your family and Raider. Please stay with us too.

Take care
Terry (always Clancy and Mytilda's mom)
and Marianne (forever Barkis' mom and Peg's mom)

[chapmandou]

Dear Cody's Dad,
I'm so, so sorry about the loss of your baby. Having just lost two beloved boys to cancer this summer within a month of each other, the heartbreak is still fresh and I know how much and how long it hurts.

Our pups were our babies too. Losing them was almost unbearable -- particularly when you have been so close, shared so much love, and done absolutely everything you could to keep them happy and healthy. When all of the care and effort come to an abrupt halt like this, it is a terrible and heartwrenching blow.

I did learn one thing though: they never really leave. Even as you grieve, know that Cody is still with you... because the bond of love you had with him can never be broken. Nor will the care and love you gave him ever be forgotten. Cody has already taken up residence in his new forever home in your heart. You probably know that.

Our thoughts are with you during this very sad time.

Carol, Mom to Sam & Sham-in-heaven,
and newly-adopted Angus

P.S. I believe that Raider, your other baby, may surprise you over time. In fact, he probably needs you more now than ever, and his kisses may come after all.

[dadtocody]

Well today is the start of the thrid day without Cody. We aren't taking it good.It seems like the morning are hard becuse we had to get up and feed him test is bloodsugar and give his shot. I still wake up at 6:30 am but no Cody. Then at night it get harder because we would all sleep in the bedroom together. Raider on his pillow at the end of our bed and Cody on the floor on my side. Now Raider sleeps in the hall where Cody use to sit. It brakes my heart. Its like he's looking for Cody.We just keep rolling things over in our heads to see what we could have done different. In his 16 months of being sick we spend $10,000 on test and meds and because he's gone I feel like we didn't do enough. I feel like we missed somthing. All our friends who have dogs and know what we did say we did all we could do. I just feel like we failed Cody. And all I keep saying to Raider is that I'm sorry.Before we left Cody after he passed my last words to him were I'm sorry.
DadtoCody

[mytil]

Hi again Cody's dad,

It is almost unbearable the pain these coming months - I too felt trememdous guilt that I did not make the right decisions the last year of my Mytilda's life. It still haunts me at times... The daily routine over 14 years does not fade easily. It will take a while I'm sure for you too.

Please, please don't beat yourself up ~ from what you tell us you are a good dad. There are just some things that are not in our control; I have come to live with that.

Griefing is so personal and we all grief very different ways and durations. There are no rules in that.

I can only hope that the words from me and others here will offer some comfort during this very difficult time. Time does heal some things...

My heart goes out to you, Raider and to anyone else whose life was touch by sweet Cody.

Take care of yourself and again please stay with us and do not hesitate to post any of your feelings, questions or thoughts here - we all will help you the best we can.

My best,
Terry (always Clancy and Mytilda's mom)

[labblab]

Dear Cody's Dad,

Just as Terry has said, please know that you are not alone with your feelings. I am so very sorry that you have lost your beloved Cody. And with so little warning, and no way to even try to prepare yourselves. So many of the things that you have written just echo in my heart. I also still have pangs of doubt and guilt about losing my boy two years ago. And the hurt of being separated from him -- never has any loss hurt me as much. I will always remember how hard it was to make it through those first days -- how much I missed him. It did not help when people told me "Don't feel guilty." I DID feel guilty!!! I wondered if he would still be alive if I had done things differently.

But I just want to echo what Terry and Carol have said -- that slowly, slowly, with time the bad feelings finally started to fade. And they have been replaced with my memories of the good times and love that we shared. When I think of my boy now, I picture him healthy and happy and strong. I hope that will be the same for you and your wife.

I think that the thing that has helped me the most is something that my family told me back when I was hurting so badly. That was that I can never really know whether the decisions I made were "right" or "wrong" from a medical standpoint. But every decision I made was made out of my love for my boy. With the information I had, I tried to do my best to make him healthy again. I just did the best that I could. I know that is true for you too. And your love for Cody was the biggest gift that you could ever have given to him.

We will help you to always honor and remember Cody here. So please do keep coming back to talk during these hard days (and nights).

With many hugs,
Marianne (forever Barkis' and Peg's mom)

[dadtocody]

I just want to thank you guys for the wonderful words. You think your the only one going through this but it's nice to know people do care. The one thing I think I'm sruggleing with is that even though Raider has been here 9 yrs. I feel like he is replacing Cody. I feel afraid to get close to him of fear that he might leave us too. I love Raider don't get me wrong but like I said I think the bond was different. Cody was more in your face loving kisses and let you know he was here kind of dog. Raider is more shy,quiet,leave me alone kind a dog.Loving in his own way.Cody wanted to be hugged and brushed and would kiss you for hours. I guest Raider knew from the time Cody got sick til the end that Cody was first. If Raider came up to me for a hug he would always move when Cody would come for one. Like he knew Cody was sick and needed love. We never pushed Raider to the side,I guest it just happened like when it came to eating so Cody could get his meds. And when we would come home I would go to Cody first to make sure he was ok then go to Raider. I guess I feel guilty now.
DadtoCODY

[we3dogs]

Gee, I am sitting here weeping as I read this posting. Everyone's grief process is different as Terry mentioned, but I hope it somehow helps for you to know that we've all been there and it is the absolute worst. Just give in to the grief and sadness and tears as it is all cleansing. You've got to get it out and we all completely understand. My aunt and uncle have no "people children" and if you mention their poodle Marquis, who died about 20 years ago at age 18 (not cushings), Aunt Mary still cries and can't speak.
Cody was so blessed to have you in this life, and Raider is blessed too. Just give your hugs and love to Raider and some day the pain will ease. Please don't be afraid to shower all your love on Raider - he needs it now and is grieving just as much as you. I think some of us have more than one dog because sometimes that is what makes us go on-we have other furbabies who still need us now more than ever! I can see how sweet the relationship was between Cody and Raider; I've seen similar with my dogs. We can all learn lessons from our dogs compassion and love.
As Marianne said..."We will help you to always honor and remember Cody here. So please do keep coming back to talk during these hard days (and nights)." Peace to you at this sorrowful time - Joyce
(I tried to edit out that question mark but am stuck-so sorry-I have a new laptop and don't know what keys I'm hitting at times)

[Cubster]

Dear Cody's Dad:

Reading your posts, I am sitting here fighting back tears, and not very successfully either. We lost our beloved 17 year old sheepdog, "Willie", nearly 19 months ago and I still cry sometimes driving to work when I think about him. Our house was so quiet without him, so 2 months after he passed we adopted "Cubby" who was dumped in a shelter with epilepsy at age 8. We felt a bit guilty that we were replacing Willie, but that was not the case - you never replace a beloved pet, but it is good that we all have other souls to take care of, it helps us go on & I know Willie would have wanted us to help someone else. Now Cubby is fighting for her life, with epilepsy and now with Cushings Disease. We are not ready (nor are you ever) to go through the pain of losing another loved one so soon, but we find comfort in knowing once again we will do all we can for those we love. Hang in there - time does help ease the pain, it never takes it away entirely, but it helps. Someone told me when Willie died that we had watched over him for so many years and now he was returning the favor by watching out over us. I find comfort in that thought, as I hope you will knowing that Cody is watching out over you now!

Cubster

[dadtocody]

We just came back from seeing Dr.Katie.We felt like we needed some closure so we called her and she said to come down and bring all of Codys meds and she would get us a credit.We got back $180.00. She was not her bubblie self. She didn't tell anyone there what had happened so everyone was shocked. She didn't want to talk to anyone today. We gave her a framed picture of Cody and she loved it and started to cry. After we all cryed she said thinking things over the last 72 hrs. Cody may have had a blood clott go to his brain because he wasn't to coherent. He knew you were there but not looking at you. She said being diebetic and this happening so fast it could have been very possible. Then see told us she was going to leave the hospital to go back to school for specialize medicine because of Cody. She wants to be able to do more for the harder cases. She said that won't be until next year but she would keep us posted.After all she takes care of Raider. My wife and I want to take her out to dinner some night for a thank you and ask her that if she wants to open her own practice after school we like to back or help finance. My wife is in banking.Anyway a big weight has been lifted from the both of us knowing we couldn't have stopped this from happening and that we did all we could do.
DadtoCody

[zoesmom]

Hi Cody's Dad -

Reading about your dear Cody and how you're struggling with the loss brings back the same feelings I had six years ago when I lost my heart and soul, KC. I've owned lots of dogs, but don't think I ever grieved as much as I did for KC. We, too, had another dog at the time, though she was just a youngster of two then(the same Zoe who is the reason I now visit this board.) Both dogs were black lab mixes with touches of white, but KC was more stocky, Zoe more lean. To this day, I'm convinced my KC was THE smartest dog ever ;) , while Zoe remains our big, dumb, lovable goof.:)

Like you, I felt guilty at times because I had such a bond with KC, and didn't feel quite the same closeness to our dear little & newer (at the time) Zoe. I loved them both, of course, but differently because they were just so opposite personality-wise. But now I can truly say, Zoe has grown to hold that same special place in my heart and soul. I think it's because she and I went thru the grieving process for KC together, just as Raider will do with you. I'd sometimes cry into Zoe's soft neck at night and talk to her about KC. She would sit at the front window for hours, watching, hoping, to see if maybe KC was outside and going to come up the driveway at any second. Even to this day, whenever we're driving and we see this one dog in our neighborhood out walking with his master, I say to Zoe, "Look, that buddy looks just like KC" - (the similarities are striking - down to the same unexplainable "lopped off" looking tail). Zoe always gets this forlorn look in her eye and stares at this other dog as we pass. And then I know that it's Zoe, and only Zoe, who feels what I'm feeling. And that she misses her KC as much as I miss my KC. That's why Raider needs you more than ever now, and you him.

The best therapy for me when I lost KC, was to sit down and make a list of all the things about that dog that I both loved and hated (she was an abused dog who'd been abandoned at the shelter and spent more time there than any dog they'd ever had. So she definitely had some issues - the kind you don't want dogs to have - hence, the 'things i hated' part). But if I hadn't made that list, I'm sure some of the littlest and best-est things would have been forgotten by now. I'm so glad I did it. Maybe it would help you to do the same sort of thing. And in a few years, you'll be as glad you did it as I am. But as Marianne said, with time it becomes just a tad easier and the sad moments will get further and further apart. And then there'll be more and more of the happy memories to bring smiles back to your face. Take comfort in Raider. He will be more than happy to soak up the love from you that heretofore has been shared with Cody. Would enjoy hearing more about your two special doggies, when you feel up to it. Will keep you in our thoughts and prayers. Sue and Zoe

[SachiMom]

Hi Cody & Raider's Dad & Mom,
I have no words to help you, only can share your broken heart. It is so hard to lose a best friend. We may be better prepared for the loss when they are ailing, but the suddeness of losing them when they are on the mend only deepens the hurt and makes us question ourselves even more. I can see that you have made a small step in the healing process in going back to talk with the doctor. Each day will improve. Raider will need you to help ease the sorrow in his heart. You cannot push him away because of your fear of losing him too. I know you won't, it is just your grief speaking.
Then see told us she was going to leave the hospital to go back to school for specialize medicine because of Cody. She wants to be able to do more for the harder cases. She said that won't be until next year but she would keep us posted.After all she takes care of Raider. My wife and I want to take her out to dinner some night for a thank you and ask her that if she wants to open her own practice after school we like to back or help finance.
There could be no greater honor for Cody, than to support her in the healing of others.
Healing thoughts and prayers for Raider, your wife and Cody's Dad.
Take care ~ Mary Ann

[abbycreekstudios]

I'm so sorry to hear about your sweet Cody. Please don't feel as though you failed him. You obviously were devoted to him and you gave him the best care possible. Cody knows that...and now just wants your heart to be at peace.

I have developed such a special bond with my Abby since she has had so many medical issues these past years. I thought I was going to lose her a month ago when she had to have her spleen and gall bladder removed...and it was the most painful feeling I've ever had. I would be lost without her...as I know you are without Cody.

I know it's inevitable though and all I can do is give her the best, happiest life I can until then. I do take comfort in the fact that when she passes...she will be waiting for me and when it's my time...I will see her again. Just know that you will be with Cody again someday...and that at least for now he is with you in spirit. He will always surround you with his love and devotion just as he always did in the physical world.

Abby and I send many blessings and healing thoughts to you and your family.

-Linda and Abby

[mytil]

Hi Cody's Mom and Dad,

At least there was some sort of closure and I'll tell you one thing for sure your vet is truly an Angel :). I do wish her the best (please tell her that from all of us in this Cyberfamily).

Continued thoughts to you, your wife and lots of hugs to Raider.
All of my best
Terry (always Clancy and Mytilda's mom)

[dadtocody]

Well today was our first day back to work and leaving Raider alone. It was rough because everyday for 16 months before I would leave for work I would get on the floor and bear hug Cody and whisper in his ear. I would tell him daddy loves you do you love daddy and he would bang his tail on the floor. Then I would say daddy is going to work I will see you later and he would bang his tail on the floor. Raider made it through the day. He was happy to see me when I came home. My wife is taking it harder then I though because she works 12 hours a day.But she took care of him in the morning so today it was hard. It's hard for me to understand how 10 yrs. becomes just a memory. I can remember the first day he came home and now hes gone. The pain hurts so bad and I know Raider needs me he just has to let me in. And I guess I have to show him.
DadtoCody

[labblab]

All of the "firsts" are just so hard -- thank goodness we only have to live through them once...:o. Just as Terry said earlier, the daily routine becomes such a basic part of your life, especially when taking care of a sick baby. Everything seems so different and wrong and empty when they're gone. But as others have also said, I'm guessing that your relationship with Raider may start to shift in the coming days, and a new routine may be born. You, your wife, and Raider all need one another now. As you all take care of one another, I'm hoping that you'll find some comfort in knowing that you are still needed, and that you are still very much a dad.

If, by any chance, you have any pictures of Cody and Raider that you'd like to post in the Gallery, we would all love to see them. That way we would all have the chance to "meet" and remember your babies, right along with you. Also, I just wanted to mention again that you will always be welcomed on the "Healing Our Broken Hearts" sub-forum if you ever want to start a new thread and share some more stories or memories about your boys.

Do take care, and do keep letting us know how you're doing ~
Marianne

[Unregistered]

Raider is starting to relize Cody is not coming home.He is starting to cry at the front door.Thats where he last saw Cody.What do I do?
DadtoCody

[LagottoLady]

Dear Cody's "parents"

I am so very sorry about Cody passing away...Grief is a very personal thing but the one common factor is that it takes time to heal again. I didn't sleep for a week after my Boncuk passed away...sat on the bed the entire week, wrapped in his blanket trying to hold on to him, his scent...

So take your time and grief in any way you feel needed... Cody knew he was loved so much by you and that's worth so much. No living creature should have to leave this planet without knowing what it is to be truly loved..and that is what you have given Cody...true love :)

About Raider...pets seem to grief much like humans. They can become anxious, restless and depressed. Also they can start to eat less... The best thing you can do to help Raider is to keep the "normal" routine going as much as possible. Pets thrive on routine and normalcy so try to maintain this as best as you can. When he seems to loose his appetite....don't change his food just in order to try and make him eat. Him eating not so well is quite common and when you start changing his food you will have another "problem" on your hands down the road....a dog that's really fuzzy about what he eats :) A grieving dog needs his normal routine to give him confidence and to assure him and he craves your attention. But give him "positive" attention...do not sit beside Raider and talk to him in a consoling way when he cries at the front door, this will only reinforce the behaviour. Find something that Raider really likes...a ball, a rope...a squeeky toy..anything that would grab his attention in a positive manner and distract him.... If there was a certain routine just before feedingtime with Cody because of his meds...try and change it into a routine with Raider.... make him "shake hands" for example before you feed him...get another routine back if the former routine is now gone. This is the best advice I can give you regarding Raider and his grieving process....

For you and your wife...all my sympathie goes out to you.

Saskia and Sogno.

[ventilate]

I just got back from holidays and read your post, I am sitting here crying for you and your loss. I along with many others have lost a faithful companion and best friends, and reading your post, still brings it all back, the grief, pain and lonelyness. My companion left a long time ago, but I remember it like it was yesterday. I was fortunate in that I got to hold her.
I am glad your vet was able to give you closure, it is wonderful to find a caregiver that cares as much as she did, that is exceptional.
again I am so sorry.
Sharon

[dadtocody]

Today I just had a meltdown. I just miss Cody so much. I keep thinking about x-mas and the ornaments of Cody and his stocking and I just melted. My grandparents didn't hurt this much. I guess it's just his unconditional love he had for us I just don't know if I can ever get that again. Not even from Raider. Maybe in time Raider will come around. I think because we had to care for Cody different the bond was stronger. My dad thinks Raider will surprise and open up more now that it's just him. He feels that Raider knew Cody was sick and needed more careing so he stood back. I just feel like I'm supose to just forget the last ten years and move on.I'm affraid I will forget about Cody. I want to get a tatoo of him on my calf so I always have him with me til the end.
DadtoCody

[labblab]

It just hurts so much...But I am here to tell you that, as hard as it is to believe right now, you will get through this. And the day will come when you are able to smile through your tears when you remember Cody. But not now. And maybe not for a long, long time.

I think that I may understand what you mean about being afraid that you'll somehow forget Cody. During those first days after I lost Barkis, I actually ached inside from being separated from him. I cried so often during those early days. And, this may sound crazy, but as the days went on, I felt as though I would be betraying him if I STOPPED crying -- that my tears were my last connection with him. And once they dried, I would be forgetting him.

I cried every day for three months. But on the day that my husband and I brought home our new puppy, Peg, I felt as though Barkis' last gift to us had been to teach us how much we NEEDED a dog, and that our hearts could open to another. And once again, this may also sound crazy, but on that day it finally felt OK to stop crying. Now, two years later, on some days I still honor him with my tears. But most days, I am able to honor him with my smiles at remembering all the joy that he brought to me.

I believe that Cody's spirit will always remain in your heart. You will never forget him, even though your life will move on. And Raider will never be meant to REPLACE Cody -- but he will slowly come to claim another, different part of your heart.

But for now, it just hurts. And it is OK not to move on until you are ready.

With many hugs,
Marianne (forever Barkis' and Peg's mom)

[zoesmom]

Cody's Dad -

The pain IS excruciating. And only the passing of weeks & months will make it less so. But as you are waiting for that day, I think Raider will surprise you. I know Zoe did (as mentioned in my earlier post about her big sister KC). Dogs grieve, but they also have a wonderful insight into our feelings. Raider knows exactly how you're feeling. He just has a different way of showing it than Cody did. Maybe the sadder thing is - he can't tell you how HE's feeling.

Like Raider, Zoe was not 'permanently attached to my hip' as KC always was. KC was a people dog (well, really only a 3-people dog - me, my son and my daughter.) Zoe, on the other hand, was more independent - maybe because she had to fend for herself on the streets until she was 4 mos. old. She was definitely more of a dog's dog. But in the months after we lost KC, Zoe seemed to develop a closer attachment to us. Maybe it was because she no longer felt like the #2 dog - or maybe it was her doggy intuition, telling her that we were sad, and that her presence seemed to take away some of that sadness. Whatever it was, she slowly became more responsive to us, & more of a cuddle pup (tho' she was always gentle & sweet, she had never been the 'needy' one, as we liked to call KC.) You have to give it time, but your relationship with Raider will change. I guarantee it.

In the meantime, you just have to take it one day at a time. And know that Raider is missing Cody every bit as much you. Sue

[dadtocody]

Today the vet called and Codys ashes are in. Hopefully we can get them tonight before they close at 8pm. I feel good about it because he's coming home. I felt empty because we had nothing left but memories. Now this will be closure. A full circle. I still miss him very much but now I feel like I can talk to him. He will be home to rest with us.
DadtoCody

[SachiMom]

Extra ((((Hugs)))) and healing thoughts and prayers for your and your wife's hearts as you bring Cody home to his final resting place. Give Raider that extra hug too. Explain to him where his brother is now, and with time, all your hearts will begin to heal.
Take care ~ Mary Ann

[dadtocody]

Today is a week. I can't beleive my Cody is gone. We are dealing will it the best we can. We got Cody ashes the other night and when we walked in the door Raider went nuts. It's like he knew what was going on. We let him smell the box and explained it too him. He seems very nervous I hope he claims down I feel so bad for him.
DadtoCody

[labblab]

Dear Dad to Cody,

I was thinking about you earlier this morning -- knowing that this will have been your first week without Cody, and guessing that this morning would feel especially hard. Somehow, I am not surprised at Raider's reactions to Cody's ashes. I believe animals are able to sense things on levels that we cannot even imagine. But I do think that he will calm down. It will probably just take some time. So many things are different for him, too.

I am wondering whether you would tell us some more about how both Cody and Raider joined your family. Did you get them as puppies, or were they older (although if your Labs have been like mine, they stay "puppies" for YEARS!) Did they like to spend time together, or did they each have their favorite "spots" and favorite toys or games? They are both part of "our" family now, too, so it would be so nice for us to find out more about them :o.

Do take special care of yourself, your wife, and Raider today. And I am so glad that you have Cody's ashes back with you. As you said, I do think that it helps to bring his life on earth full circle. And now you can truly hold him again.

Marianne

[mytil]

Hi Cody's dad and mom,

I have not been on site these couple of days, but am still thinking a lot about ya'll. I read about your melt down and boy I wish I were there just to give ya'll lots of hugs (I know the others here feel that way too). There is so much pain now and I too have had several melt downs over the year; "just cry my eyes out sitting in the corner all curled up" kind of melt down. I had never felt that much pain in my entire life.

I am so glad you have Cody's ashes with you now. It does help. I know Cody is watching ya'll and will continue to. He knows you miss him so much. Don't try to deny any of these feelings that will come out - it is all part of it. Your little Raider will be there for you too. I think they have a certain wisdom we cannot see at times ~

Please take care of yourselves and Raider
and we are all here thinking about you ~
Terry (always Clancy and Mytilda's mom)

[dadtocody]

Well I have my good moments and my bad moments and when I feel good I feel gulity that I should be crying. Then I make myself feel like s@*t. Its been a week and I know it takes time. I just want to feel better then I do.My head hurts and my chest acks. I never felt this much pain before. I know Cody wouldn't want me to hurt this much so I just have to calm down. I miss him so much and think it's all a bad dream but it's not. When the phone rings I think the vet is calling to tell me Cody is alright come and get him but thats not the case. Raider is still nervous and that hurts watching. I know it's hard for him too.Cody was my first so I guess it hurts the most.
DadtoCody

[labblab]

Dear Cody's Dad,

All day, I've been wishing that I could think of something to say that might makes things better for you. But right now, there's probably nothing that anybody else can say or do. It is just a matter of living through the pain, one day at a time. And trusting that, little by little, the good moments will gradually start to outweigh the bad once again.

As Terry has said above, I do believe that you are helping yourself to heal by coming and telling us how you are feeling and what is happening -- and not keeping it locked up inside. At least, that's the way that it worked for me when I was feeling so badly. So please know that, even if we may not be able to say much that helps right now, we are ALWAYS here to listen. And to understand how much Cody meant to you, and how much you miss him. I'm hoping that maybe tomorrow, things may feel just a tiny bit better. But whether they do or not, please come back and tell us...

Many hugs,
Marianne

[labblab]

It's me again ;)... I just had one more thought to add this morning. I don't know whether you've had the chance to take a look yet, but we have a "Resources" section in our "Healing Our Broken Hearts" sub-forum that has several websites that might seem helpful -- if not now, perhaps a bit further down the road. Some of the websites give you the chance to actually create your own memorial page, or to join other moms and dads in remembrance ceremonies, or to just read more about how to be kind to yourself, your wife, and Raider while you all are healing.

To get to this section, just go back to the first page of this forum. At the top of the page, you can click on the "Healing Our Broken Hearts" sub-forum. Once there, just click on the "Resources" thread.

Bye again for now. I'll be looking for you to check back in with us ~

Marianne

[dadtocody]

Today we got a card from the animal hospital. I thought it was going to be a plain standard card. But the card had about seven people write about Cody and how they just loved him and said we gave him the best care. It made me feel real good that he touched so many lifes. I'm starting to think with my head now and not my heart. If he wasn't going to be the same dog he was then it was better off this way. It wouldn't have been fair to him. He didn't have to suffer and we didn't have to suffer watching him. The only thing I wish I could change is Raider not being lonely. I know he misses Cody. He sleeps in the living room faceing the front door. The funny thing now is that Raider is laying in some of Cody spots and even in the same position. It makes just think that Codys sprit is here and Raider will always be a link to Cody.
DadtoCody

[labblab]

I am so glad that you received that card. I'm sure that it was hard for the people at the animal hospital to lose one of their favorite patients, and that it has made them feel better, too, to be able to tell you how much they thought of you, your wife, and Cody.

I'm hoping that Raider is finding some comfort in laying down in Cody's spots. Animals are just amazing -- I'll bet that he senses Cody most strongly at those places and feels closer to him. When we first brought Peg home as a puppy, we would have sworn that Barkis had been "talking" to her beforehand -- one of the very first spots that she walked to was his dogbed. She took one sniff, plunked down, and that has been her "safe" place ever since.

Give Raider a pat for me tonight, OK?
Marianne