LagottoLady
04-14-2006, 07:05 AM
Dear Boncuk,
3 years ago you came into my life...battered, bruised and hurting. You were so small, so wounded. The physical wounds would soon disappear but your emotional wounds were too deep, too severe to heal. It took you a year to have faith and trust in me. And finally, when your life started to look a bit brighter, the epilepsy struck...with such force and impact. That second year we fought a battle together to get the epilepsy under control, and finally we did. You could again sleep peacefully at night without the seizures taking over, leaving you unconscious and in spasms. We were entering our third year together and life seemed to be good. With me at your side, you felt safe and secure but always ready to jump in my arms as soon as you detected the slightest hint of "danger"... You would hold on to me so tightly, your front paws around my neck, your hind paws around my waist...your little face hiding in my neck...not able to look at anyone, too scared...too afraid. Marked forever by the hands of humans...or at least that is what they call themselves. Your eyes were always searching for mine, looking for courage, comfort, security...
But you had faith in me and together we could face the entire world, side by side..you and I.
You were happy in your own special way....
Two and half years had passed and another condition of yours had gotten worse, you trachea was now collapsed for 80% over the entire length and I could clearly see that this was affecting you. You couldn't run around as you used to do...could not longer jump over tree trunks...but still, we were happy, you would ride on my lap when you got too tired to walk. Your warm and soft body, curled up on my lap, the wind playing with your ears...your eyes looking at me....smiling... Yes, we were happy.
Then the Cushing's started to take it's toll from you. We both tried so very hard...all the vets tried so hard...but in the end, your tiny body couldn't take it anymore and I had to let you go. I didn't want to...because you needed me so much. Who would protect you...who would look after you... From the day you came into my life, we hadn't been separated once... I never went anywhere without you, you would panic when I was not there. So how could I let you go now?
But then I realised, that in your short life so much had happened. You were hit, beaten, kicked, had boiled water thrown over you. So much pain, hurt and fear was inflicted on you. And now one disease after another turning your life into a continuous and endless battle. And eventhough I tried so hard...you would never find real peace here. The things I wanted for you the most, peace, no more fear, no more hurt, no more battles...I could finally give you now.
And so I let you go. You were still so young, only 5...
My little guy, I hope that you now are running and playing and jumping again, no longer knowing fear or feeling pain. It hurts without you here...but I know that one day...you will jump into my arms again and that I will feel your kisses on my face again.
Be safe and happy Cukie...till we meet again.
Always,
Saskia.
3 years ago you came into my life...battered, bruised and hurting. You were so small, so wounded. The physical wounds would soon disappear but your emotional wounds were too deep, too severe to heal. It took you a year to have faith and trust in me. And finally, when your life started to look a bit brighter, the epilepsy struck...with such force and impact. That second year we fought a battle together to get the epilepsy under control, and finally we did. You could again sleep peacefully at night without the seizures taking over, leaving you unconscious and in spasms. We were entering our third year together and life seemed to be good. With me at your side, you felt safe and secure but always ready to jump in my arms as soon as you detected the slightest hint of "danger"... You would hold on to me so tightly, your front paws around my neck, your hind paws around my waist...your little face hiding in my neck...not able to look at anyone, too scared...too afraid. Marked forever by the hands of humans...or at least that is what they call themselves. Your eyes were always searching for mine, looking for courage, comfort, security...
But you had faith in me and together we could face the entire world, side by side..you and I.
You were happy in your own special way....
Two and half years had passed and another condition of yours had gotten worse, you trachea was now collapsed for 80% over the entire length and I could clearly see that this was affecting you. You couldn't run around as you used to do...could not longer jump over tree trunks...but still, we were happy, you would ride on my lap when you got too tired to walk. Your warm and soft body, curled up on my lap, the wind playing with your ears...your eyes looking at me....smiling... Yes, we were happy.
Then the Cushing's started to take it's toll from you. We both tried so very hard...all the vets tried so hard...but in the end, your tiny body couldn't take it anymore and I had to let you go. I didn't want to...because you needed me so much. Who would protect you...who would look after you... From the day you came into my life, we hadn't been separated once... I never went anywhere without you, you would panic when I was not there. So how could I let you go now?
But then I realised, that in your short life so much had happened. You were hit, beaten, kicked, had boiled water thrown over you. So much pain, hurt and fear was inflicted on you. And now one disease after another turning your life into a continuous and endless battle. And eventhough I tried so hard...you would never find real peace here. The things I wanted for you the most, peace, no more fear, no more hurt, no more battles...I could finally give you now.
And so I let you go. You were still so young, only 5...
My little guy, I hope that you now are running and playing and jumping again, no longer knowing fear or feeling pain. It hurts without you here...but I know that one day...you will jump into my arms again and that I will feel your kisses on my face again.
Be safe and happy Cukie...till we meet again.
Always,
Saskia.